I cleaned the wax from my ears so I could hear you better. Now I'm frantically trying to shove it back in. NEED!!! MORE!!! WAX!!!! PLEASE!!! 2 months ago
I ate a bowlful of funny and it gave me laughing gas. 2 months ago
It's not my fault you got shot. I tried to warn you, "Lookout! There's a clam with a gun!", not "Hey look, there's a ham with a bun!" duh! 5 months ago
I can't ever recall having a good memory. Have I already mentioned that? My memory sucks. I don't even remember typing this stupid tweet. 5 months ago